my hands are full!

Okay, this post essentially has nothing to do with Jacksonville.

I am not ashamed to say that I am tawdrily, tastelessly, self-loathingly addicted to celebrity gossip. Hey, it's a pastime. I find Perez outrageously offensive to my exact liking. I adore Michael K's homo-centric wit and charm. And X17's blatant refusal to feel ashamed for spending their days chasing and stalking makes me smile on a regular basis.

Perhaps I find it ironic or something. That might make it all better, if I did. But I doubt that's even true.

So here is what I am saying... has anyone ever noticed how celebrities are always carrying like twenty things at once? They carry these ridiculously large bags and then hold all the contents in their hands!

I have a few theories. Perhaps they hold these things as distractions. Like, "I can't see you paps because I am too focused on the huge water bottle wedged between my cellphone and keys and the ginormous scarf!" Or perhaps its like walking advertisement, as seen in Lohan's incessant display of Ariva. Or maybe they just like to snuggle with teeny tiny dogs.

This post is almost embarrassing. No, I am pretty sure it is embarrassing, but it baffles me. Why do celebrities have so much more shit to hold?