It's Super

(the only pic of me at a game i could find)

It really is pretty super. Big screens. Hot wings. Cheap beer. Sweaty men in tight pants. And it is pretty bowl-ish in nature, as well. My chips are in a bowl. Beer can be served in a bowl. The helmets look remarkably bowl shaped. And I wouldn’t be hard pressed to imagine a few bowl cuts underneath those helmets, either. But it was the bowl shaped stadiums that hosted college football match-ups is what gave The Big One its official name: the Super Bowl.

It’s practically a national holiday. (It’s got me talking about sports, which lets face, is hard to do.) People all over the country huddle together in front of their screens, or if you are rich or extremely insane, in the actual stadium itself, to watch these muscle men in stockings trying to kill each other, politely. All across this great land, rich or poor, famous or lame, young or old, happy or sad, this night is the most watched night on TV for this great country. And we all sigh and gasp and cheer and cry together as teams we never cared about before this day (I say in remorse as our wonderful team, the Jagtastics, just barely missed the parade) pummel each other, politely.

Let’s be honest though. Florida is a remarkably football frenzied state. Its one of those live, breathe, die, love, sweat, blood, and tears kind of jazz. We grew up on football. A huge factor in college selection often times comes down to team affiliation. I’ve known people to practically disown a person for choosing one school over another because of football. Tom Petty and Mike Campbell, (the Heartbreakers lead guitarist and also graduate of Ribault High School!!) even helped us celebrate our favorite American past time.

Watching the Giants tear up the Patriots, who have not lost one game all season, looking up player stats and seriously analyzing the anatomy of the last great play just comes naturally. And also goes wildly against the rest of my personality, which could just mean I am multi-dimensional. Lets hope.

Californians love football, too, especially if it can be intellectualized. And New York City is clearly a fan of the cherished American tradition. They love it in Louiseville, in South Dakota (I am sure… although have no vivid memory of such a thing being true… does anyone have a vivid memory about South Dakota at all?) and Texans are especially fond of the sport.

While the rest of the world plays football in a world wide celebration of sweaty boys that actually use their feet in the game, we turned it into a sport where only one player actually kicks the ball- the kicker. And while the rest of the world unites over their terminological tradition, we only unite with ourselves. Not even David Beckham could change that.

That is just so American of us, isn’t it? Ignoring the ways of the rest of the world, selfishly changing the rules to benefit our own wishes, and always making sure the uniform is tight and revealing.

Both teams' colors were even red, white and blue. Go team America! Everyone is in on it. Even the commercials are better.